09 May 2014

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Dead fish?

When I get pictures back from our photographer I will work on a string of wedding related posts, until then, minovia has supplied me with this guest post detailing an event from last summer.  It is one of her favorite stories to tell and she has always chided me for not blogging about it...

This story must be told. Many will wonder why middleson has yet to blog about it.  It's a story worth telling so here goes....
Last summer after our beta fish passed away we decided to buy another fish.  However, to make things interesting we decided to each pick out a small fish for our 2 gallon tank.  After much deliberation at Petco Isa picks a tiny black & white spotted fish which she quickly names Oreo, I chose a blue guppie (I didn't get a chance to name her so let's just call her Joan of Arc) and Jake decides on a simple reddish/orange fish.  [Spoiler alert- it's not a happy ending for all 3 fish.]   Each of us is convinced we picked the best fish.  "My fish is the fastest.....My fish gets the most food".....you get the idea. Why do we do this? Because someone in our house loves competition so everything becomes a competition.  I don't like to name names I'll just say that person's name rhymes with rake.

We are home for a couple hours and Isa comes running and screaming that one of the fish had babies. I reluctantly get up to check it out,  ready to give a speech about fish excretion habits but instead was shocked to discover 6 baby fish in the tank!   Cray, cray, right!?! Can fish give live birth? We've all watched Finding Nemo, they're supposed to lay eggs!  We bought 3 fish and now had 9! Crazy!! What's even more crazy is that Joan is chasing the 6 babies trying to eat them. So I quickly take her out of the tank and, not knowing what to do, I called Petco.  I'm told that guppies give live birth, they eat their offspring and if I don't want the 9 fish to put the mom back in the tank and let nature take its course.  Ummm, no.  I put Joan in a clear plastic cup next to the fish tank so she can see her babies and grow to love them so that one day they can be reunited and she won't eat them and instead live happily ever after.  Wishful thinking.   A few days later we give 3 baby fish to a friend and are left with 6 fish.  Unfortunately, Oreo passes away about a week later leaving us with 5 fish.  Sad, I know. Probably overcrowded.

Lest you think this is where the story ends, let me assure you it does not! A few weeks later after a night out of sushi and a few drinks, we come home and I discover Joan 2 feet from the tank! On. The. Floor! Yep, all hard and crispy. She jumped out of the cup and was on the floor! I yell at Jake to come check it out and our conversation/argument went something like this:

Me: (staring at Joan on the floor) You HAVE to admit, I picked the best fish.
Jake: What do mean? Your fish is dead.
Me: Well, I know that but it gave live birth and jumped out of the water. It was probably trying to jump back into the tank to be with her babies.
Jake: Your fish is dead.
Me: I know that but if someone was going to write a children's book about one of the fish they would definitely pick mine.
Jake: Why would anyone write a children's book about a fish that died?
Me (rolling my eyes): Well obviously they would change the ending Jake!
Jake: Your fish jumped to its death.
Me: I know that but it can STILL be the best fish!
Jake: Your fish is not alive.
Me: So what, what makes your fish better?
Jake: It's still living.
Me: I know that but mine had a more interesting life than YOUR fish!
Jake: Your fish committed suicide.
Me: Forget it, just forget it!

And so the debate continues because Jake's fish (which has since been named Lucky) is the last surviving fish.  But not necessarily the best fish. ;)

I'll just end it by saying that my fish continues to live happily to this day, surviving spotty feeding schedules and less than frequent water changing.


  1. A fantastic fish story! When I was sleeping in Isa's room I turned off the fish light without thinking when I was going to sleep..when I woke the next morning--- I thought I had killed the fish since that might have been his oxygen supply... I was ready with all sorts of stories that could have happened to the fish- none confessing my my part of course... glad that fish is hardy!! :)

  2. Sounds like to me there is more than one person in the house who warms up to a little competition!

  3. it was the alcohol! i'm not usually not that competitive. it was such a ridiculous conversation.